#he is safe and warm now
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He is but a boy pb, he will wither under the winter’s cold grimy hands.
Miles is skinny and noir worries good naturedly
#miles is my sweet boy#he is safe and warm now#spiderverse#spiderman into the spiderverse#into the spiderverse#spiderverse fanart#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv miles#atsv peter b parker#Peter b Parker#Pb Parker#peter b. parker#miles morales#miles morales spiderverse#spiderman spiderverse#spidernoir#spider noir#noir spider man#noir spiderman#spiderman noir
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Creation = The Thing (from the tubhole?)
Primary Protector (Creator (not used but could be)) = Tubbo
Rank 1 Shell = Sunny
Guardian = Philza
Shell (in general) = Eggs
Pancake Shell = Empanada
The Mother of Pancake Shell = Bagi
Duck Shell = Chayanne
Trauma Shell = Tallulah
#i can’t talk in chat rn and am dealing™️#qsmp philza#Philza#donno what else to tag#I kinda hope he keeps playing it relatively serious#the idea of Creation being something from either the tubbhole or something Tubbo made#to protect Sunny in case he isn’t there#‘you are my job’ yeah he’s meant to look after her- DID HE JUST POINT AT HER AND SHE DISAPPEAR#I KNEW IF HE POINTED AT YOU YOU GET VOIDED BUT WTF#‘Rank 1 is now Safe’ UH HUH. SURE.#OH HE BROUGHT HER BACK#‘Guardian I am here for you’ ‘how can I trust you?’#‘yes it was warm there like a blanket :)’ ‘no one else is here for me’#SUNNY#‘primary protector is missing.’ ‘Primary Protector put me here for you.’ ‘fear no more’ at least Phil is getting#‘PRIMARY PROTECTOR WILL BE FOUND OR RECOVERED INTO A BACK UP’ WHAT#‘I need your help guardian’ ‘locating (primary protector)’ ‘do you have the data’#Phil trying to explain to Creation what happened and why-#‘primary protector cannot die. primary protector is not alive to begin with.’ WHAT. TUBBO LORE?????
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terrible awful realization
[image transcript:
arisveah: and the surgery scene was so much more piercing seeing it from a different angle like omg now we have the idea that he was screaming the whole time omg.
best friend: RIGHT
arisveah: (referring to a previous comment about the exposure) "nerd" okay star wars. what am i supposed to do with the knowledge that charlie was screaming for half an hour what the fuck. what do i do with that? poor boy. if he ever escapes his voice is going to be absolutely shot. and plus saying all that (referring to the horror of promoting a future sex channel with your voice and not your authority) on stream- poor man might never say anything again (if he gets out) :(
End of transcript]
#generation loss#genloss#slimecicle#genloss charlie#mute genloss charlie#the founders cut#u ever get such a foggy brain in public that your mouth speaks without your consent and now u said something very violating about yourself?#now imagine that its been streamed in front of thousands of people and you can’t stop your mouth despite your best efforts#and before you know it youve made promises you know youll be forced to keep#because you didnt make them the people controlling your life did#and now you just have to wrestle with the reality of keeping these promises while your legs run with a boy. you know will die#and your eyes are too heavy to tell where the camera is focusing#but youre pretty sure its already focused your butt after you were forced to eat people and you dont know what else mightve happened after#terrifying#poor fucking gl charlie slimecicle#and he thought he was in the sanctity of his home too#maybe im reading too much into it#but my heart cries for that character man#he needs a hug and a warm blanket BADLY#i will give him hot chocolate and a Gun and he will be safe forever slash platonic#i want to steal him and niki and sneeg and vinny and carry them away to a safe little house on the prairie where they learn how to be human#and they farm carrots and wheat and charlie and sneeg go vegetarian while niki joins the police force and vinny works as an accountant
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Hey, not to alarm you two, but I think Gustavo is coming in.
Peppino, I’d suggest prepping an explanation, and maybe tell Pep to stay calm and use the grounding exercises we taught him.
If you don’t think Pep is up to it though, there’s a box out next to the dumpster. It seems to be his safe place.
Pep, don’t worry, people a lot smarter than me can help put the pieces together, but for now we need you to breathe. You’re in the restaurant right now, and you’re safe.
Peppino: "Gus is here???"
Gustavo: "Sorry, we're late, Peppino! Brick saw a cat, and we ended up the next town over-"
Peppino: "GUSTAVO!!!"
Gustavo: "AAA-!?!?"
Peppino: "GUS!!! MY CLONE THAT I FOUGHT IN THE TOWER WAS LIVING IN THE DUMPSTER FOR A MONTH, AND HE CAME IN AND WE TALKED, BUT HIS LITTLE MAGIC BOX OF A THOUSAND VOICES TATTLED ON HIM AND HE HAD A VERY MELTY PANIC ATTACK, AND THEN I WAS PUPPY-DOG EYED INTO LETTING HIM STAY AND WORK HERE, AND THEN WE WERE COOKING THE PIZZA AND HE HAD A MEMORY ABOUT USING A KNIFE, AND THEN HE JUST TURNED INTO SOMEONE ELSE FOR A SECOND AND NOW HE'S HAVING ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK, AND IT'S BARELY INTO THE AFTERNOON, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!"
Gustavo: "You know I am always happy to help you, Peppino, but can you please explain that again a little slower?"
Pep: *muffled hyperventilating*
Pep: "!!!"
Pep: "Si tahw...?"
Pep: "Efas... Mraw... …Tfos si…"
Gustavo: "Oh, good job, Brick!"
Peppino: "Yes, thank you, Brick. She's nice to cuddle with, huh, Pep?"
Pep: "...Mhm..."
Peppino: "Good, good. Now, what were your-a friends saying? There's a box outside? Would you like me to get it?"
Pep: "...Yes please..."
Peppino: "Alright, I will be right back."
-
Peppino: "Oh, there is-a box here..."
Peppino: "Oh... It is conveniently covering that hole in the wall I forgot about... Mm, fixing it will have to be put off again... Getting stuff for Pep is more important."
Peppino: "Hm? What's this? 'Peppino's Special Things'? I should-a bring this inside too. Must be important to Pep."
-
Peppino: "Pep, I got your box! But are you-a sure it's the right one? It seems-a really small for you-"
Peppino: "!!!"
Peppino: "Well, that answers that. You feel better?"
Pep: *quiet but relived gurgle*
Peppino: "Good. Here, let's let you rest with Brick and with-a your friends. It's been quite the day for you."
Peppino: "Okay, so Gus and I are going to-a continue the work day, but we'll put your pizzas aside for later, and when you feel up to it, you can finish them off. But if you feel like resting for the rest of the day, that's alright too. Does that sound okay?"
Pep: *soft burble that vaguely sounds like the word 'okay'*
Peppino: "Alright then. We'll be in the kitchen if you need us."
(Gustavo and Brick (the Rat) are now available for asks!
Pep is having a little break and is too tired to form a mouth, but you can still leave asks for him)
#pizza tower#fake peppino#peppino spaghetti#gustavo and brick#translation: “What is...?”#“...Is soft... Warm... Safe...”#I didn't mean for this to be so frickin huge but here we are#you guys were excited for Gus and Brick huh#also Pep is full puddle mode for the moment#you can only have so many panic attacks in the space of like 12 hours before your body gives up#he will be okay tho!#can't leave my boy sad!#but right now it is sleepy time#story post
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i choose to believe that Billy had a silly little crush on Pete when they first met on the gameshow in that way kids sometimes get crushes on the adults in their lives and of course he stopped feeling that way once he realized what a loser Pete was but when he regains his memories in Invisible Hand he remembers the crush too and he's so deeply, thoroughly embarrassed by it that he Refuses to acknowledge any non-platonic feelings he ever gets for Pete again and that's why he's so weird and repressed about the fake dating thing
#the venture bros#pete white#billy quizboy#billy whalen#(billy voice) thank god i'm an adult now and can see how horrible and deadbeat he is and will never ever feel that way about him again#<- delusional#Billy feeling his heart skip a beat when Pete smiles: (beating the feelings back with a broom) ABSOLUTELY NOT#Billy pretending he's dating Pete: this is for my mom obviously i could never really feel this way i'm not 15 anymore white hold my hand#Billy lying next to Pete in Horace's house where they share a bed: I'm letting him hold me because my mom might walk in not bc i#like him or anything in fact i hate him what a loser ugh why do i have to fall asleep in his arms every night i feel so warm and safe
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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having such an absolute shit time which is horrible because I had put so much effort into making this week bareable only to be fuckin stranded in the worst place I could be rn because my health was so bad I couldn't leave i feel so fucking bad and helpless and fated to having to suffer over and over and over
#was supposed to stop here to just grab one thing I needed!!! but have been so ill (chronic health bs) that I haven't been able to leave#for two days now and it is ruining me right now im like. in a really fucking bad place in every way jesus christ#stuck w someone who abused me for 20 years (not my ex lol she was shitty af but not abusive)#and shocker he is still gross and doesn't take no for an answer to anything and keeps touching me & not leaving me alone & I couldn't leave#I wouldn't wish this on anybody it absolutely breaks you to be stuck like this because your body doesn't work. I should have gone to the ER#So scared my health is getting worse in really dangerous ways. Could have died the other morning#like what the fuck!! what am I supposed to do I have been trying my best my whole life and it still amounts to being homeless and so sick#and so powerless to change either of those#all I want is a warm safe place to call home. It feels like I can never have that without a knife at my back#delete later#woof woof#vent
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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probably no new drawin until after christmas bc im hibernating rn! am curled up in a small hollow of a tree in a nest lined w moss and feathers. if u care.
#i hve an idea tho. a sketch. i will. get 2 it eventually#ive like. 180 decision n now im gna try doing picture book illu again KSNSJDNJS#i feel. more prepared for it now tho. gna. try stuff out. see what i like#im more confident now w th actual drawing its th colouring where im tripping up but! that will come with time!#im doin good tho! been making lots of scarfs for my loved ones#i slept round bfs house for th first time on weds n i felt. weird when i got home yday but we had a long chat n now i feel fine#im! gna try using aac with him when he comes round next week! im excited about it i think im going to rlly like it#all good things! things just feel. easier with him. living in my brain#i hope everyone has as of a safe and warm holidays as u can#hope ur tummy is full!!#barks
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sometimes i remember how Jimin made sure his artist made collection hoodie would be comfortable for female body proportions as well and i am just filled with a deeply warm fondness 😔
#if anyone wants to be mean to him they have to go through me first#id protect this man with my life#i hope he is warm and safe and happy :(#now im getting sad i miss him am#*sm#rambling
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*passing out blankies to the Trauma Twins, Brom, Eragon, Saphira, Murtagh, Thorn, Nasuada, and heck even Angela*
I've not done anything to them today. Just figured they'd be a bit cold.
#im now imagining everyone sitting together like 'where'd these come from' 'do not care they are warm and fuzzy unlike my past'#'who invited the angst bois' 'eragon did.'#'brom's gonna tell spooky stories.' 'Arya stop using glen's arm as a tent pole'#saphira is quite happy to become the new tent pole#she's got the blankie over her snout. purposeful fire hazard.#angela has torn hers up and began knitting a whole new one from the shreds#glen's teaching Murtagh and Thorn breathing techniques. it's actually going well.#eragon purposefully misplaces his blankie and asks if Arya will share. because its her duty as a bodyguard to keep him safe and warm.#she rolls her eyes but still lets him in because he's a dork but he's her dork when saphira lets her borrow him.#i donno these nerds needed a break.#eragon#inheritance cycle#the cyclists#the world of eragon#the inheritance cycle#modern inheritance#ket's modern inheritance cycle
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I’m gonna become a girl whose only personality is being in love with a sweet boy
#me last year would've gagged at this#i would've been so disappointed#but anyway#HEHEHEHHhehEhhEhhHEHHEHE#i wanna write fanfictions based on everything we do#he he he he he is sauuuuur TENDER and HE IS SO UGHUGFUUF WHY IS HE SO SOFT AND PRECIOUS#WHY IS HE SO GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND WHY DOES MY BLACK CAT BECOME GOLDEN WITH HIM TOO#WHYYY IS HE SO WHYWHYWHY IS HE SO GENTLE AND WARM#why are his hands always warm and why does he always warm mine up why is he so fuhfhhdufh#he he he he holds my hands tightly and i know it's because he's scared to let go and I've never felt more wanted than now#its cold in january and ive never felt more vulnerable but safe#i can no longer tell where i end and where he begins#between a prayer and his name#with an atheist's devotion#i hope it's him that answers
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Holding sopping wet creature pep gently he is very tiny-
(Now you gotta hold him until he has finished his nap, hehe)
#ooc post#hand is warm hand is safe a good place to snooze#just don't go too wild with gesturing now!#normally he wouldn't mind being swung around like a ferret#but this is form he's more likely to get overwhelmed#and he's trying to sleepy!!!
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venting so much i ran out of tags lmao
#i think im hallucinating ?????#i have my headphones on (listening to boyfeel on repeat n choppin up some paper)#and keep feeling / seeing shadows in my peripheral vision#im probably just dehydrated and having bad floaters but i dont like it :)#today has also been bad dramatically awful#life isn't serious there's no reason to feel this heavy#oop very emo thoughts incoming#life can't be meaningful or ill miss my parents too much but can't be meaningless or im living without them for nothing#im just. struggling very hard this year. idk#i had so much health bullshit going on for months that i put off going to a psych n now im so busy that it feels bad taking time off for it#and im also scared of getting on meds bc the idea of being dependent on something that i might not have access to is.. auuughhh#idk dude my adhd has been debilitating lately and i feel so stuck and sometimes i think i have ocd bc my compulsions are so fucking bad and#all my mental bullshit with my breathing has slowly been driving me wild and peaks my anxiety#and sometimes i worry abt being bipolar bc my mom's mom is and my mom's best friend told me she thought my mom might have been#bc the way my moods are so low or so high is exhausting it feels like i haven't had a “normal” day in so long#but also atp when im happy i feel manic bc idk how to healthily experience happiness anymore#idfk y'all !!!! im also very nonverbal these days#ugh and still going back n forth on telling my therapist ive been suicidal again bc i dont want him to have to report me or anything idk#a few months ago i made a joke about offing myself and he got rly serious n said he'd have to take action if im serious so im leaning no#like. i wouldnt actually kill myself. i just don't want to exist sometimes in this life#its just been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard lately without my parents or grandma#and even after all these years it's still heartwrenching to think about continuing to live this life without them#like. i just want to make them laugh. i just want to feel their arms around me in a warm hug. i just want to dance to their favorite songs.#i don't want to think of them and see their dead bodies anymore. i want to remember them healthy and smiling.#i would take care of them again in every lifetime but fuck dude. i just want to remember their good days instead of the end. can i please#please fucking invision them at their best. i want to remember the dad that played baseball and video games and whose laugh filled the room#i want to remember my grandma who was so sassy but kind. whose button nose crinkled when she smiled. who taught me to happily be dramatic#i don't want to remember them being frail. i want to forget the frustration i saw in their eyes. i want to forget seeing them struggle#(insert sadness about not remembering my mom at all)#just. fuck dude. my life is simple and i am safe so i shouldn't complain. but things feel so fucking hard sometimes. i feel so heartbroken
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not to be all mushy and gay but bepo feeling like home for law>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
#ofc law loves his family of course they all matter#but when he thinks about being happy safe and in comfort#bepo is the first thing he thinks about#romantic or not he is just so warm and there and always in captains space and law is in his space hes just the core#he's the fireplace the furnace where all the warmth starts and spreads#penguin and shachi understand this. the rest of the crew understands this.#manga spoilers: god im so happy they are together now its a shitty place and we dont know where oda will go#but god im SO HAPPY THEY ARE TOGETHER RIGHT NOW#oda can snipe me easily. but for now ill get to be happy (scared) but happy
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i wante. to kiss the robot. please </3
#simon my love simon#i am SO sorry to anyone (you know who you are) that sees this#i'm. i am a disaster over this wonderful adorable man#so funny and considerate and just so kind andbgnfngnfngng#i want... to holde..... his hand.........#and kiss his little helmet........#maybe give him kisses across his knuckles............ ;;;#what if i held him oh so gently#what if we snuggled up in bed together surrounded by warm blankets...#and i wrapped my arms around his shoulders and he laid his head against my chest......#and he could just. fall asleep while i cradled him all loved safe and secure#augjghfgghghh#okay that's enough for now goodnight i will be. dreaming about him maybe#//#🌊;; ''take me back home‚ let me know that you're human''
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